Pictured above is my latest coping mechanism for shitty days, like today.
I was mom shamed today. I heard a mom tell her son who asked why Lenni was throwing a fit, that it was because the baby couldn't talk so mom didn't know what she wanted. Then she continued to look up and stare me down every time Lenni screamed at me, as her 5-year-old sat perfectly in his chair.
This is for the new moms out there, as well as the soon-to-be ones...actually, it's for everyone who is a mom.
When I googled "mom shaming", I couldn't find a clear Wikipedia definition for you, so I'll make up my own:
Mom shaming is when moms make other moms feel ashamed.
That's an all-inclusive definition, so let me break it down.
It can be a quick glance, or a full eye-contact moment. You've seen it and I guarantee you, you've done it. We all have! I've caught myself staring at moms with their kids multiple times, and I immediately either smile or look away. For starters, you're not helping the situation by looking. It's not like they will receive some magical, overwhelming, super-mom power to calm their kids down. Moms can also feel you stare and it makes them stress out which makes their kids stress out so you just made it worse. You are also never going to make someone leave if you stare. If you do, you're a downright bitch. They're not inconveniencing you with their presence. They're desperately trying to enjoy a meal or a coffee in public so they don't have to cook at home. If somebody bugs you THAT much, then YOU can leave. Go to a 5 star restaurant, cause guaranteed, it will be kid-free.
Sweet mercy, I don't even know where to begin. The articles you post and the comments you leave just make you look inconsiderate and immature. Before leaving any comment, read through the status or the post a few times and ask yourself "is this helpful or encouraging, or am I just trying to make myself feel better about the parenting style I've chosen?", and then decide to move on or to comment.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase "every kid is different" and so is every mom. If the end-goal is a healthy, happy baby, WHO CARES.
After being called a neglectful parent for choosing to let my kid cry-it-out, I can't emphasize this enough. I am not a bad mom because I choose to raise my baby differently. I am a mom who knows that my baby that came out of my vagina needs sleep just like me, and we've both slept through the night since she was 3 months old because of what I chose to do. If that offends you, my gawd find a hobby.
Here's probably one of the most controversial parenting subjects of ALL time. The craziest thing is, it is the most stupid to me.
I chose not to vaccinate Lenni.
There it is! You can choose never to have your baby hang out with my baby, and it's water under the bridge to me.
I've researched it, I've talked to multiple people and moms about it, and decided.
Same with the moms who've chosen to vaccinate. AND THATS OKAY. I was vaccinated one time as an infant, and I am still kicking and healthy, and I'm praying that Lenni is the same. That's also my choice as a parent.
Those are just 3 points I've wanted to hammer in a blog post because I've personally experienced feeling ashamed because of another mom's opinion. I genuinely want to eliminate the idea, because it shouldn't have ever existed to begin with. My child had a full-blown meltdown at a coffee shop today and I felt the stares and it was exhausting. You think I don't understand that my child is throwing a temper tantrum and I'm doing everything I possibly can to calm her down, all the while just wanting to finish my damn cup of coffee?? Seriously.
We all do the best we possibly can, and that's enough. Stop staring, stop commenting, stop being ridiculous and immature because somebody chose something differently than you. If we as mothers, chose to parents exactly the same and do everything the same, our world would be boring and we'd have a lot of weird kids. That seems terrible to me.